After patting himself on the back for a job well done with his latest BBC interview, Prince Andrew received a tragic diagnoses from the royal physician. Having been told that he is one of the many current celebrities suffering from “Foot-in-mouth” disease.

“His highness has obviously taken the news rather badly” said Sir James Saveel, the royal correspondent.

“He told me he hasn’t heard news that bad since he was with his girlfriend last week and they were carding at the club entrance“.

The news, much like the Prince himself, comes after Jeffrey Epstein, who’s suicide shocked the world in ways that were thought to be “unbelievable” and “like the machinations of a really dumb super-villain”.

The Prince is said to have cancelled all of his scheduled public events, and focusing on a new campaign to bring awareness to his condition alongside fellow public speaker Kevin Spacey. The unexpected duo is set to launch a new Charity Festival this coming February, which has been dubbed: “Mouth Aid”.

The festival is set to last two weeks, and include music performances from artists like Cardi B, The Lostprophets, an Elvis Presley tribute band, and R kelly.

“The message of Mouth Aid is simple.” says public relations manager, Christopher M. Brown.

“We are here to raise awareness to the bias, bigotry and shame that is put on many of our favourite celebrities by the public. It is simply not acceptable that famous people can no longer speak their mind on basic issues like politics or whether or not a domestic abuse victim deserved it. Through Mouth Aid your common celebrity will be able to speak freely anytime, anywhere.“